Two Quite Different Responses
Late last week, I received the first response based on the revised query I mentioned a few posts ago. Though it is another denial, this one seems to add a touch of personalization to the matter, something lacking from most of the other responses. Almost makes it seem as though he read the whole query, at least.
Thanks for your interest in our agency. Unfortunately you've caught me at a time when the demands of my current clients leave me with very little time to devote to exploring new talent and unfortunately in this case I have to pass on the opportunity to pursue this. I'm being extremely, and likely unreasonably, picky so please seek many opinions since my decision may have little to do with the salability of your work.
I should note that this query was also one of those in which a sample of the novel was not included. Instead, it only the brief introduction letter, as per request.
There are still quite a few queries left unaccounted for and several months until my self-imposed deadline rears it’s ugly, yet satisfying, head, so no worries just yet. Keep in mind, I’m still operating on the basis of at least one or two more rounds of query submissions.
While waiting for more reactions to stream in, the first response to the completely rewritten first section of Part Two of The Nobodies (say that five times fast) came in yesterday from my trusted confidant and idea trampoline. Let’s see what she had to say:
Very good and action packed, so my kind of book :) . I feel like I haven’t solved or figured out some of the mysteries I would have liked to in Part Two but it was still good.
Only complaint I really had the whole time is it was shaky how much time it took for things to happen and whether it was night or early morning all because of one line of dialogue in the beginning.
So when do I get more?
One caveat: as I noted, she’s only read a small portion of Part Two, so the mysteries she’s hoping to solve may still be answered before Part Three. In fact, I know they are (though I gleefully replace them with several others).
As to her complaint, I read through her comments and suggested edits, and found the noted piece of dialogue fairly easily. The confusion came in the distinction between the “black night” and the “morning,” the latter of which, when used in dialogue, is typically indicative of what I think of as coffee-drinking time, while the former can describe any time between sunset and sunrise. However, within the context of the story, “morning” was used sarcastically by a character to indicate a time after midnight that also happened to be after the main characters had awakened from their sleep.
After explaining the context, it seemed to resolve the issue, but realizing it is an issue, I’ll be sure to make adjustments to avoid future readers’ confusion when I sit down in the coming weeks and tighten the storyline as planned. Based on my current rate of consumption, I should begin this next phase in approximately two weeks. Maybe less, depending on my tweaking. No matter the case, I’ve already begun printing the chapters out for hard copy editing (a step I typically save for last).
They’re making a lovely stack on my end table.